Are You Making Your Children Live YOUR Dreams?

This morning when I was on my hands and knees cleaning up play dough off my hard wood floors, I had an epiphany. For years I have felt like a royal failure for not being able to play the piano as good as I thought I should.  You see, when I was a teen, my mother put my sisters and I in piano lessons.  (mind you, I was already doing ballet, tap, jazz, karate, and played the flute and tuba)   After my mom would pick us up from school, every Tuesday she would transport us, to Mrs. Hailstocks house for piano. She did this for four years straight.  I dreaded every Tuesday afternoon for two reasons, one, I was EXHAUSTED from a long day of school work and second, I just did not like piano.  I am not sure why, I just did  not care for it, and to be quite honest, I don't think my sisters did either. 

Actually, the only one who really was excited about piano was my mom.  The entire ride to piano lessons, my sisters and I begged and pleaded that mommy would let us go home and stop going.  I even remember us shedding tears numerous times.  Can you imagine three teenage girls fussing, crying, complaining and protesting for a 30 minute drive?  That trip would have been hell for me as a mom, but my mother seemed unfazed.

Today, 30 years later, at 45 years old and, I now realize two things,

1. Why my mother was so adamant about us taking piano lessons and
2. Why I did not excel in it as well as I did in other activities

First, of all, my mother always wanted to learn and play piano ever since SHE was a girl.  My parents made sure my sisters and I were classically trained in the arts, which was evident in us playing instruments for various orchestras and bands.  So adding another instrument, the piano, was great, but it just was not OUR thing, it was my moms. 

EPIPHANY 1:  Deep down inside my mother should have been fulfilling HER dream and taking piano lessons, not us.  As a mom, sometimes we pass on our dreams onto our kids and that is NOT the way to go.  We moms should introduce various interest and activities to our kids, but we must also pinpoint their talents and interest and direct them in it.   NOT make them live our dreams, because it will only make them dread the process.

Secondly, for the past 30 years I have been feeling like a failure for not really mastering the piano at a better level. I really did not like to practice and it just seemed like it just was not my thing.  To this day,  my mother says, "If you all would have applied yourselves more, you all could be teaching piano lessons making some good money on the side!"  For years she has been saying this and for years I have been feeling like a royal failure for not being able to play and teach piano, as well as feeling like I let my mom down.  But you know what?

EPIPHANY 2:
 I did not fail because I am not a good piano player.  Playing piano just was not my strong suit!  I did not like it.  It' just like my daughter Aunna who we put in soccer a few years ago. She really did not like it and we saw that it really was not her thing, so we told her that she would not have to play next year if she really did not like it, BUT she had to finish the season out.   I am glad we did that because it taught her to finish what she started as well as that it's OK to not like and excel in everything.  I rather my children do one thing very well then be all over the board and not mastering any. 

I wish my mother would have fulfilled her dream of learning piano because it was and still is her desire.  Also, had she put herself first and learned piano, I would not have had to wait 30 years to realize that I did not fail, piano just wasn't my thing.