Let me preface this by saying, I have absolutely NOTHING against women, particularly moms, who drive mini vans. They are spacious, and practical for many people’s life style and needs. Matter of fact, mini vans today look and drive like some luxury vehicles. But I CAN NOT bring myself to get one. Let me tell you why. I am a 45-year-old wife and stay home mom. I have a step son who is 28 and two daughters ages 4 and 8. I am not bragging, but I am a great mom and wife. Am I perfect? "NO!" Do I sometimes yell when I should speak softly? "YES!" Have my kids heard me use a curse word here and there, “HELL YES, I mean HECK YES!” But I have dedicated all my life and everything that it encompasses to being the best mother I can be. So the last and only area that I refuse to totally lose Angela in is the type of vehicle I drive. Now PLEASE do not lecture me on how what I drive does not define me, because I know that. You are talking with a person with no shame when it comes to doing what has to be done when no other choices are present. Shoot, I once had a car whose entire top was rusted. I would get at least 100 comments a day; no lie, on how my car needed to be in a junk yard. I even had a boss at the job I was working at tell me that the credit union he banked at offered great car loans. So, shame is not a part of my game.
OK, so last month, my 2001 Ford Explorer Sport SUV basically
died on me. Even though it was almost 16 years old, I kept it clean and
presentable. To repair it would have
been extremely costly, so my husband suggested we contact my cousin who is a
great used car salesman and see what he could find for us. Well, of course he worked diligently and
found some vehicles in our budget. He
found various vehicles, many which were minivans. Of course I love getting a great deal, especially
since Larry is the sole bread winner and I’m home with the little “angels.” So, I went to the dealership with an open
mind, but even before I had kids, I promised myself that I would NEVER be a minivan
toting soccer mom (again, if you are one, I thank God for you and would never look down on you!). Although I am TOTALLY
against a minivan for myself, if it was our best choice financially, I would
have chosen it in a heartbeat, because me getting our children to their destinations
is paramount.
For me, the vehicle I drive is the only part of me, Angela,
that no one, especially the kids can dominate.
Like many of you, I have given all of myself to them and put dreams and
goals on hold to tend to their needs while they are young. Although I am a mom, I am a woman first. My vehicle, is an extension, as well as a
reminder, to me, that even though I am a mom, I am still a chic, stylish and
goal oriented individual and woman. I
see it day in and day out, moms who have lost themselves in their present lot
in life as a mom, particularly stay at home moms.
Hair not done, face hadn’t been painted with make up for months,
sagging, baggy sweats and a look of utter exhaustion and disbelief. Disbelief that this is what their life has
become. As I look deeper at the mom, and
in many cases, strike up a conversation, I find out that that woman, just like
myself, once worked in corporate America, obtains various degrees of higher education and is trying to
cope with her new way of life.
I know that driving a car instead of a minivan is not
the answer to a moms mental, emotional, physical, or social needs, but for me,
my vehicle is a reminder that yes, I am a mom, but a mom with flare. Maybe your issue is not the vehicle you drive,
but what is it that you need to change so that every time you see it, you remember that you are a mom with flare also? Do you feel like an individual, a woman, a gorgeous, intelligent, motivated,
goal driven, determined, brilliant, sexy and desirable woman? Maybe you need to start going to the beauty
salon again. Or what about getting a
pedicure or manicure at least once a month?
Or how about just dabbing on a little bit of lipstick before leaving the
house. I encourage you to tap back into
your womanhood so that you can be a better mommy.
So after waking in the morning and already feeling anxious
and exhausted from a morning of begging, pleading, arguing and hurrying my two “angels”
to dress, eat, and leave out the door, seeing my vehicle puts a smile on my face. It is a reminder to me that although I have
children, I am a woman with style and individual flare. And in case you were wondering, I ended up
getting a car and am so happy I did.
Others around me tried to convince me that with a van, I could lug
around more things, but my sporty Milan allows me to carry the most precious
and important cargo I need, my two girls and my husband.
Much Love,
Angela
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